Snow Peach
by iChocoLove
Summary: All the smashers are bored after Master Hand canceled the tournaments. Peach is determined to get something to do, and has thought up a "brilliant" idea! What is it? :D Rated T 'cause I feel like it.
1. Peach's Awesome Idea

**Rawr. I'm baaaack! :D**

**It's Snow White, Brawl version! Yaaay! –cheers-**

**Let's-a go!**

"Oh my _god_!" Peach screeched, racing towards her friends, the princess, Zelda and the bounty hunter, Samus.

"Yes Peach?" Zelda asked patiently. Samus just shot an icy glare in Peach's direction, as if blaming her for destroying her peace and quiet.

Ignoring Samus, Peach jumped up and down, visibly excited. "You know how everyone is always so bored 'cause the matches are cancelled for the time, riiiiiiiight?"

"Continue …"

"Well, I have the _awesomest_ idea right now!" Peach squealed.

Samus raised an eyebrow. "'Awesomest' is not a word, Peach."

Zelda, being the kind gentle being she is, ignored Peach's made-up word. "So, what is it Peach?"

"Well, well, well … why don't we all make a play?" Peach grinned, smitten with her brilliant idea.

"A play?" Samus and Zelda questioned in unison.

"Weeeelll … I suppose it would work. However, are you sure that everyone's going to listen to you?" Zelda asked, running a slender hand through her hair.

"I have my ways, Zelda darling." Peach grinned evilly, putting a huge emphasis on the word 'darling'.

Zelda raised an eyebrow. "Okay …" she said, as the Mushroom Kingdom princess skipped off.

A couple minutes later, an announcement screeched its way through the mansion, shattering nearly everyone's eardrums.

"_All smashers screeech, please report to the screeeech living room. All smashers, to the living room screeech, please."_

Once everyone was assembled in the specified place, many rubbing their ears woefully, Peach clanged her pots together violently.

"All right everyone!" she yelled. "I know many of you are bored -" There were many snorts here, "- so, I've decided that we're going to make a play!"

Silence.

More silence.

Crickets chirped.

Wario farted.

"Sooooo … you want us to do a play." Fox said, chuckling uncertainly, as if hoping that the princess was joking.

"Precisely, Fox!" the princess replied, pointing a pan towards the fox as if he had won a million dollars.

Fox sported a sceptical gaze. "That's … disturbing, in a way. Are you serious?! There's no way I'm going to do that."

"For once, I agree with that idiot," Wolf stood up, glaring at the captain. "Why the hell are we going to do something so stupid?"

"SILENCE, FOOL!" Peach screamed. "You _will_ listen to me, unless if you want a pan in your face the next second." The princess waved one of her pans around warningly.

The two enemies eyed the pan carefully and thought better of going against the Mushroom Kingdom princess. They sat back down, still glaring at Peach – and at each other just because they felt like it.

"Now, if no one else has any objections," the princess glared around at the crowd, "we will be acting out Snow White. Okay?"

"_Snow white_?!"

"Why is the world so cruel?"

"What?!"

"Where's mah cookies?"

"POYO!"

"MY HEAD! GET OFF ME, KIRBY, YOU BEEPING PINK ALIEN THING!"

"EVERYONE, SHUT UP!" Peach screamed, chucking one of her dangerous looking pans out at the other smashers. There was a dull clunk, and it hit Ike square on the face. He fell backwards, fainting dead away. The people around him winced, noticing how hard it had hit him.

"Anyways, LET'S GET STARTED RIGHT NOW!" Peach cheered, expecting some kind of reaction. Sadly, everyone just stared.

"So, I've decided the roles already. Also, I already wrote out the script, so you bimbos can get started straight away. I'll post the roles up in a couple minutes. GOT IT?!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

"Okay everyone, the scripts are up front. Get one for yourself." With a flourish, Peach walked out of the room, presumably to post up the dreaded roles.

No one had moved towards the pile of papers up at the front, as most were either still in shock, thought they were dreaming, got beaten up by a pan, or had just fainted. Zelda smiled weakly, and with shaking legs, walked up to the front and picked up a package tentatively. Automatically, everyone held their breath. The elfin princess stared at it intently, puzzled at some of the wordings that Peach had used. All of the sudden, she seemed to notice that everyone was staring at her. Looking up, she asked, "What?"

"Oh, nothing, princess. Just wondering if it was going to bite or something," Falco replied sarcastically.

- - - -

"Alright everyone! It's posted up!" Peach smiled, staring proudly at the pink sheets of paper. Everyone jostled for a position to look at the sheet, each hoping that it wasn't something too drastic.

_Snow White – Peach_

_Evil Stepmother – Olimar_

_Snow White's father – King Dedede_

_7 dwarfs – Ness_

_ Lucas_

_ Toon Link_

_ Diddy Kong_

_ Kirby_

_ Pikachu_

_ Nana and Popo_

_Snow White's mother – Zelda_

_Prince1 – Link_

_Prince2 – Ike_

_Prince3 – Pit_

_Bunnies and Birds – Yoshi_

_ Pichu_

_ Pikmin_

_ Sonic_

_ Jigglypuff_

_ Meta Knight_

_Servant of the Stepmother – Roy_

_Servants – Wario_

_ Marth_

_Fox_

_Wolf_

_Falco_

_Mario_

_Luigi_

_Pet Monkey – Diddy Kong_

_Hobo – Captain Falcon_

_Everyone else is going to be behind the scenes, or just random crowds. If anyone has any complaints, come see me (and get a pan in the face)._

"What the hell?! Why are there three princes?"

"Umm … that's 8 dwarfs, not 7, Peach."

"You DARE question my counting skills?! Off with your head!"

"GWAH! I'M SO SORRY!"

"I thought the parents died in the story?"

"Why are there so many servants and animals?"

"HUH?! Why is there a hobo in here?"

"But-a princess, why am I-a a servant-a?"

"SILENCE FOOL!"

"With my royal status, I shouldn't be a servant!"

"I'm supposing you want a pan in the face then, Marth?"

"…"

"Okay!" Peach clanged her pans together. "Does anyone else have any complaints?"

"I do." Meta Knight raised his hand/arm/stub. "I refuse to pretend to be a fluffy animal."

"Screw you!" Peach cried. "You'll be staying an animal or …" she faltered as the Star Warrior gave the scariest glare anyone could imagine. "Okay … since I'm such a nice person, you can work behind the scenes. No one else can change their roles!"

"That's not fair!"

"Whhhhhhy does Meta Knight get to switch?!"

"SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! Now get working, or you will feel my wrath!" the princess screamed, glaring daggers out at the smashers. All the victims scurried away quickly to prepare costumes and other random things for the play.

- - - -

After several months of hard training, fights and Peach's wrath, the pink-clad princess stood on Snake's cardboard box, ready to give a heart-moving speech.

"I'm so proud of you all!" Peach started, sniffling. "We managed to pull together a _wonderful_ play, and we all displayed wonderful teamwork. Now, we have finally finished _Snow Peach_!"

"You know, I've always found it rather odd how this is named after you," Roy commented.

"SILENCE! DO NOT INTERRUPT ME, YOU -" Mario poked Peach in the arm, reminding her about the speech.

"Ah yes!" the blonde smiled. This caused a collective shiver through the smashers, each knowing how violent and scary she actually is, contradicting the innocent smile she displayed right now. "We will now finally, after so many months, start our play! Everyone, to the stage … thingy …"

"One question!" Pit waved his hand around, his wings twitching on his back. "Who exactly, is the audience?"

"SHUDDAP, BOY! YOU WILL LISTEN TO MY COMMANDS WITHOUT QUESTION, YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Yes …" the angel whimpered, cowering into the corner of the room.

"Okay then!" Peach smiled that innocent smile yet again. "Let's start!"

**Peach scares me now. D: **

**The play will start in the next chapter! :D**

**I feel sad. For some reason, my favourite characters don't show up as much in this fanfic. D: Oh well. It be my fault. xD Kinda.**

**I'd just like to thank StackedRubbish for giving me some lovely ideas. xD**

**Review please, or Peach will stab a pan in your face! :D**


	2. Once upon a time

I'm back

**I'm back! :D**

**There are so many favourites! I love you all! 3 Review, review, review though! D: It'll make me happy. 3 MORE REVIEWS! –drools-**

**I wonder what's going to happen in the play. xD It can't be good, considering it's the SMASHERS we're talking about. Oo;; **

**Here's a list of who's who, just in case you forgot:**

_**Snow White – Peach**_

_**Evil Stepmother – Olimar**_

_**Snow White's father – King Dedede**_

_**7 dwarfs – Ness**_

_** Lucas**_

_** Toon Link**_

_** Diddy Kong**_

_** Kirby**_

_** Pikachu**_

_** Nana and Popo**_

_**Snow White's mother – Zelda**_

_**Prince1 – Link**_

_**Prince2 – Ike**_

_**Prince3 – Pit**_

_**Bunnies and Birds – Yoshi**_

_** Pichu**_

_** Pikmin**_

_** Sonic**_

_** Jigglypuff**_

_** Meta Knight (Kinda.)**_

_**Servant of the Stepmother – Roy**_

_**Servants – Wario**_

_** Marth**_

_** Fox**_

_** Wolf**_

_** Falco**_

_** Mario**_

_** Luigi**_

_**Pet Monkey – Diddy Kong**_

_**Hobo – Captain Falcon**_

_**Narrator - Red**_

"Once upon a time…" Red started.

"OW!" Roy cried, falling flat on his face as he was pushed out of the curtains off onto the stage by the rest of the smashers. Red rolled his eyes as Roy sheepishly grinned.

"Okay, let's restart. Once upon a time, there was a fair young princess with beautiful blonde locks, and pale skin," Red commenced again as Peach waltzed onto the stage. "Her name is Snow Peach, commonly called Peach. Peach's mother was a beautiful young woman, but she had died earlier. Now, the princess has a wicked stepmother who is always trying to think up plans to dispose of Peach because of her beauty. So, one day …"

"SHOO!" Olimar cried, making little hand motions. He was dressed in a too-large purple and black dress, ugly high heels, had a small crown on his head, and had excessive make-up put on him. "Leave, princess, before I send my army of Pikmin after you!"

Peach gave a tiny strangled cry, and she fled out, off the stage. King Dedede, the supposed king, walked, or rather, waddled up to the dressed-up Olimar.

"Good job …" the penguin hesitated. "…honey." He shuddered once he spoke the last word. King Dedede rushed off the stage, screaming.

"WAIT!" Red cried. "Uhhh …" he stared after the king, watching with an expression of horror as the curtains waved back and forth. "Peach'll be tackling him down in three, two, one …"

"GET BACK OUT THERE, YOU FLUFFY PENGUIN, OR I'LL SMASH THIS PAN INTO YOUR FACE!" There were several metallic sounding noises as King Dedede fled back out onto the stage.

"Demon … Blonde … Woman …" he panted heavily. Everyone else just stared in silence, sympathizing the poor gigantic penguin.

All of the sudden, there was a random scene change. All the characters that were onstage then where pushed roughly onto the side by some unknown force.

"Snow Whi-Peach ran through the forest, desperate to get away from the castle," Red read (**AN**: Haha, get it? Red Read? Read it out loud if you don't get it. ") off the script. "Lost inside the scary forest, she heard a rustling behind her."

Peach ran onto the stage, looking terrifyingly innocent. There was a rustling sound – it sounded remarkably like a water bottle being scrunched up – and the blonde whipped around, looking appropriately shaken. "Who's there?" she called out, in a sweet, child-like voice.

Roy stepped out, picking at his odd costume. "Err … hi?"

Peach stared at him, waiting for him to continue. Behind her, Red was mouthing Roy's lines out to him frantically.

"OH!" Roy yelled, grinning idiotically. "The queen sent me to bring your bloodied and dead and clammy and disgusting corpse back-"

"ROY!" Peach screeched as she dragged out her pan out of no where. "Don't mess with the lines now! If you must, change it to something appropriate!"

The redhead eyed the dangerous looking pan and backed away. "Okay, okay! Keep your hair in place; I'll do my lines properly!"

"Ahem … Anyways, the queen sent me to kill yo-"

_Bang._

"OW! What the hell?! What'd I do now?"

"Do your appropriate lines already!"

"But that _was _the script!"

"Oh, sorry Roy!"

"Okay … so. The queen sent me to kill you just because she feels bloody today. However, I feel nice today, so go and run away to hide away with some little dwarfs and waste your life away. Ta ta for now!" Roy ran off the stage and presumably into some kind of wall or pole, as there was a loud _'thud'_, followed by a string of colourful curses. Many of the smashers winced.

"Oh dear me, dear me!" Peach sighed dramatically, ignoring our poor friend Roy's woes. "What should I do now? I have no place to go -"

Suddenly, out of no where, a random cottage appeared next to her. "Oh look!" Peach sang. "There's a place I can stay at! Oh joy!" She skipped off stage, resulting in another random scene change by the invisible force thing.

Ness, Lucas, Toon Link, Diddy Kong, Kirby, Pikachu, Nana and Popo were sitting in the middle of the stage, playing Brawl on the TV in the makeshift cottage. Peach stepped in, still smiling like an idiot.

"Oh my! What are these little people?" Peach tapped the nearest 'little people' on the heads. Diddy Kong bit her, Ness PK Fired her, Kirby stared, Lucas ran away screaming for mommy, and the other four continued playing Brawl.

"We'd prefer it if you could call us by our names, Peach," Ness said simply.

"THAT WASN'T PART OF THE SCRIPT, INSOLENT FOOL!"

"GWAH, I'M SO SORRRYYYYYY!"

"Now say your proper lines!" the blonde snarled. Ness whimpered, shrinking away from the monster dressed in pink.

"Hiwhat'syournameI'veneverseenyoubefore!" Ness babbled out.

"Why, my name's Snow Peach, but you can call me Peach," she said sweetly, tucking her pans safely away.

"Piiiiiii … KA!" Pikachu came hurtling towards Peach, skull-bashing her out of the makeshift cottage.

"KYAA!" Peach screamed, falling ungracefully on her bottom.

"And don't come back!" Nana and Popo called in unison, still holding Wii remotes. They were shaking the very un-dangerous looking white blocks of electrical stuff at the princess. Slamming the door, the 'friendly' dwarfs went back to playing Brawl.

Sadly, they forgot that it wasn't a real cottage. There wasn't a wall on one side, revealing everything that they did to the invisible audience. It was like leaving the door wide open, inviting thieves – and in this case, dainty pink and yellow coloured monsters.

In the middle of a very fierce Wii versioned brawl, there was a snarl behind the kids/pokemon/thingers.

"What was that?" Nana asked, shivering a little, her eyes still glued to the screen.

"Probably some extra sound thing from Brawl," Lucas answered, miraculously back at the cottage after running away.

"This … Is … BRAAAAAWL!" Peach screamed, as she drop-kicked, panned, parasoled and twirled the eight small 'things' out of the stage. She had adopted a Leonidas mask, looking very much like an evil Spartan.

"Okay …?" Zelda muttered, staring.

"Let's pretend we didn't see that."

**Woops. In my first document of the second chapter, I forgot this conclusion thing. Aha. xD**

**Review, people! D -punts down hole-**


	3. Fi113r Chap73r

**I'm baaaaaaack!**

**More reviews! –drools-**

**By the way, this chapter is dedicated to StackedRubbish for helping me come up with some pretty crazy ideas. xD**

"BREAK TIME!" the smashers screamed, all heading towards the door.

"WAIT!" Peach screamed, waving pans around wildly. "We're not done the play yet!" However, when you stand in front of 41 extremely excited smashers, the only thing that can happen is …

… getting stampeded over. That's exactly what happened to Peach when she tried stopping that stampede.

- - - -

Back with the eager smashers, everyone was partying in the living room. It had been decorated with record speed; it was complete with a disco ball and an extraordinary sound system that no one in our world could ever hope to get.

Everyone was dancing and having fun until …

… Olimar made a new discovery. "Listen, my good minions!" he cried over the music.

"The play's gotten to his head, I say," Falco muttered under his breath.

"I have a made an important discovery!"

"That you're actually a git?"

"I am in fact, OILY!" Olimar said triumphantly.

Everyone stared.

The music stopped.

His Pikmin ran away.

Some weaker minded people died.

"So, my new name is … OILY OLIMAR!"

More silence.

"No." StackedRubbish said, popping in randomly, and then popping back out.

"Hey, you stole my line!" Eeyore moaned, running after StackedRubbish. They became receding figures into the distance.

There was more ultimate silence.

"Let's pretend that didn't happen," Roy said, turning away with an idiotic grin plastered on his face.

And so, the party resumed, with many people with now contaminated brains.

Suddenly, the door blasted open in a gust of wind, revealing a dark figure behind the wooden doors. It was …

… Darth Vader, complete with his mask that covers his scarily ugly face and a retardedly useless light sabre.

Actually, it was Snake, who was foaming at the mouth.

"LOL I PWN3D ALL OF Y0U W!TH MAH SUPER AWESOME MISSILE SKILLS!" he screamed, flecks of spit flying out of his mouth.

More silence.

Suddenly, everyone heard a shuffling sound at the back of the room. As the turned around, they saw none other than the super awesome …

… bean eating Wario.

Everyone stared.

Crickets chirped.

"What?!" Wario yelled. "I eat when I'm upset, okay?!"

"Have you been watching too much Konk Fu Panda recently?" someone said.

"OMG KUNG FOO PANDA'S AWESOME MAN!" iChoco screamed, racing into the room. Wario and iChoco seemed to have found a new found common interest as they start discussing lines from Kung Fu Panda.

Someone fainted.

Someone else coughed, and the music restarted, this time louder than usual so they could block out the Kung Fu Panda discussions.

"OMG OMG GUESS WHAT?! WARIO HAS AN IPOD CALLED IFART!"

"NO WAI!"

"YES WAI!"

"ORLY!"

"YARLY!"

Sakurai popped in. "YOU MUST RECOVER!"

"…"

"What?"

"Let's ignore that, shall we?"

"DON'T IGNORE ME, FOOLS!" Sakurai screamed. Sadly, the smashers still turned away, and put the volume of the music even higher, blasting some precious eardrums that were already shattered from the first chapter.

Just as some creepily insane people (pretty much all the smashers) were about to dance, Wario farted.

Many of the smashers died.

iChoco screamed, "GAS MASK!" just a little bit too late for the poor people who just died.

"NO!" StackedRubbish yelled from that far-away place she was at a couple lines ago.

"MY WORD! YOU STOLE IT AGAIN!" Eeyore moaned yet again.

Just then, DemonPanther and DevillishDuck walked in.

"Whassup?" DevillishDuck said.

Then they died from the horrible smell. iChoco (still with a gas mask) sprayed perfume all around the room.

Peach came running in, looking livid. "Alright guys, we still have to do the play! Wait – What happened to them?"

"Wario had a gassing spree, that's what." iChoco half-mumbled through her gas mask, still spraying her bottles of sample perfume.

"Oh dear."

"I'd say."

Then they all came back to life because the reincarnation dude came back from lunch break. And this comes to a conclusion of a very pointless filler chapter.

"Oi, can we get back to the actually plot now?"

"Of course! (not)"

**Gah, what a short chapter. D But then again, it's a filler chapter that I felt like writing. Oo;; **

**I think you all should recognize StackedRubbish, DevillishDuck and DemonPanther from my review page. xD**

**REVIEW, DUDES!**


	4. Peach has officially gone mad!

**Back with Chapter 4!**

**Sorry I didn't update sooner, I was working on a new fanfic and the Ancient Diaries one! DD: Don't kill me!**

**Here's the list again, just in case you need it:**

_**Snow White – Peach**_

_**Evil Stepmother – Olimar**_

_**Snow White's father – King Dedede**_

_**7 dwarfs – Ness**_

_** Lucas**_

_** Toon Link**_

_** Diddy Kong**_

_** Kirby**_

_** Pikachu**_

_** Nana and Popo**_

_**Snow White's mother – Zelda**_

_**Prince1 – Link**_

_**Prince2 – Ike**_

_**Prince3 – Pit**_

_**Bunnies and Birds – Yoshi**_

_** Pichu**_

_** Pikmin**_

_** Sonic**_

_** Jigglypuff**_

_** Meta Knight**_

_**Servant of the Stepmother – Roy**_

_**Servants – Wario**_

_** Marth**_

_**Fox**_

_**Wolf**_

_**Falco**_

_**Mario**_

_**Luigi**_

_**Pet Monkey – Diddy Kong**_

_**Hobo – Captain Falcon**_

_**Narrator - Red**_

After the crazy party the last day, and the reincarnation of all the dead people and the wrath of Peach, everyone was back on the stage.

With the scene set to the castle, Olimar stood in the middle of the stage, next to a mirror that was floating in mid-air.

"After the good princess was chased out, and the servant was sent -" Red started.

"HEY!" Roy yelled. "I'm no servant – I'm a cool swordsman murderer … mercenary thing …"

"SHUT UP ROY!"

"GAAAAAAAH!" I bet you can guess what happened then. Yes. Peach happened. Next scenario, please.

Anyways, Red continued his part. "The queen went to his mirror, and asked the overrated question."

"Mirror, Mirror, on the air, who is the oiliest of them all?" Olimar sang.

"Your majesty, you are very oily, but Snow Peach is still the oiliest of them all."

"WHAT?! But my name is Oily Olimar …" Olimar ran off the stage, crying.

"Olimaaaaaaar …" Peach growled, and there were several clanging sounds, followed by the sad crying noises of Pikmin dying.

"NO! MY ARMY! I was planning on cooking them tonight – I mean … MY BABIES! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU BEAST?!"

"GET OUT THERE, YOU PIG, AND FINISH YOUR PART!"

"OKAY, JUST, LEAVE THE REST OF MY ARMY ALONE, ALRIGHT?!" With that, Olimar came rushing back onto the stage.

"Oh dear, I must find an evil plan, so I can become the oiliest of all! I know – I can give her my non-oily shampoo!" This time, Olimar ran off at the right time.

"And so, the queen went of to …er, find his non-oily shampoo, and disguised himself in the form of king."

The scene changed into the cottage once again, and Peach was sitting on a chair, looking lazy, while the dwarfs continued playing Brawl. Olimar knocked on the make-shift door.

"Priiiiincess!" Olimar called, "I am here for your shampoo delivery!"

Peach opened the door, looking surprised. "Oh my! I never knew that it would come so fast! I ordered it only a couple minutes ago …"

Olimar coughed. "Well, princess, here's your strawberry-kiwi scented shampoo and conditioner. It's two-in one!" He shivered.

"Why, thank you!" Peach smiled sweetly, taking the shampoo from him. "How did you know that this is my absolute squeal favourite squeal number one squeal super awesome squeal BRAND?"

Olimar went temporarily deaf then from the over excessive use of squealing.

"Okay princess …" he backed away, "I need to go now!" Olimar ran away, his little stubs for arms flailing.

After going through another scene change, Olimar appeared on stage once more, his eyes still the tiny slits they always were.

"Oh woe to me, woe to me, my super awesome brilliant plan has FAILED ME!" he cried.

Captain Falcon ran in, wearing a hobo suit with patches all over the place, throwing Pikmin around cheerfully. (Holy, that's a disturbing scene. Oo;;)

"MY PIKMIN!" Olimar cried, his eyes bulging out the way they always do when he gets hit in Brawl.

- - - -

Back at the dwarfs' cottage, the little 'things' finally ditched the Wii to …

… Eat some cheese, their main diet.

On the table, there sat a plate of Red Windsor cheese.

"Ewww …" Toon Link shuddered, "It looks like it's all bloody …"

Nana ran to the washroom, where she barfed the cheese that she had for breakfast up.

"OH MY GOD!" Lucas screamed, "I know loads of cheeses!"

"Okay …?"

"There's Sardo, Testouri, Caravane, Chikwi, Wara, Bokmakiri, Kwaito, Andari, Sulguni, Imeruli, Guda, Chhena, Paneer, Fahnni Batur, Khoa, Sakura, Tenshi, Basket, Syrian, Sewsew, White Asian …"

Ness LOLed. "White Asian? Haha, that person fails at naming cheese. White Asian …"

"Aren't Asians yellow?" Popo asked, being the naive little kid he is.

Ness stared. "That's the reason why the name's funny, Popo …"

"PIKA!" Pikachu pika-ed. His 'pika' translated to, "That's racist, man!"

"YOUR FACE IS RACIST!" Ness bellowed.

Everyone stared.

Crickets chirped.

"It wasn't that bad, was it?" Ness asked.

"Right right, sure sure …"

- - - -

"My next plan …" Olimar mused, pacing back and forth. "I know! I will force Peach to marry, and she will SUFFER with that one man! AHAHAHAAHAH!"

And so, the stepmother/father ran off the stage to supposedly find an appropriate suitor for his miserable plan.

However, that was not what had happened.

Actually, Olimar went to find some lovely cheese.

"Oooh, so many to choose from! Should I have Sakura cheese, or Sewsew cheese, or Brussels' cheese, or Aura cheese, or Limburger cheese, or White Asian cheese, or Red Windsor cheese …"

"OLIMAR!" Peach screeched, "GET OFF THE STAGE SO THE NEXT SCENE CAN TAKE PLACE!"

Olimar looked around. "But I thought I ran off the stage a couple lines ago …"

"SHUDDAP! DON'T QUESTION ME!"

"NOOOOOO! MY DINNER! I mean, PIKMIN!"

"THEN, GET OFF THE STAGE, OILY!"

Olimar skipped off the stage happily.

And so, the background changed once again, with a bunch of random servants, King Dedede, and Olimar on the stage.

Peach ran in, her extravagantly pink dress swishing around her.

"My daughter! You have come back to us!" King Dedede boomed. "You shouldn't have! I mean … welcome back!"

Olimar waved. "Welcome back, darling!"

_Clang._

"Wasn't that the right line?"

"…" Behind Peach, Red was shaking his head furiously, trying to mouth the actual lines to Olimar, who thought Red had officially gone mad from the stress.

"Peach, Red has gone mad!"

"NO I HAVEN'T!"

Once Peach turned around to look at Red, Olimar and King Dedede escaped through the back door.

Peach determined that Red was still normal, and once she turned back, the princess only saw two blank spots where the 'royals' were supposed to be.

"OLIMAR AND KING DEDEDE … I'M COMING TO GET YOU, READY OR NOT!" she screamed, stalking off the stage.

There were several screams, pan bangings and yells as the two victims ran back onto the stage.

"NOW DO YOUR PART!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

King Dedede shuddered, and started to talk in a monotone. "You need to get married soon, Peach. I have found a couple suitors for you."

Peach smiled, or rather, smirked evilly. "Thank you, Father!"

"Now … SCRAM!" Peach screamed, pushing everyone off the stage for some reason.

Many people backstage sweatdropped. "She's officially gone mad, she has."

"Wasn't she always mad?"

"… True."

**I finally updated! :D Sorry, I was working on a new fanfic (I know, I know) and the Ancient Diaries Awaken one. xD**

**About the cheese … Yes, they're all real cheese names. xD No, I'm not a cheese addict. I actually found this huge list of cheeses on Wikipedia.**

**It's so hard to get more ideas to write in a chapter. TT.TT Oh well, I'll live! :D**

**REVIEW, YOU BUMS! :D -drop-kicks-**


	5. Behind the scenes

**-talks to self-**

**I'm cool! No I'm cool! Aww … But I thought I was really cool! Well you're not! SHUDDAP! D:**

**This chapter is dedicated (in a way. Oo;;) to Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus, 'cause it's gonna be Bowser and Charizard centred. :D **

**Okay. xD Let's … read …? Oo;;**

**LOL, OMG, I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING. Guess what? … Diddy Kong has two roles. xDD I JUST realized. Oh well.**

While the play was up and running, the lucky ones were working in the back.

_Press that button, Bowser. No, not that one. THIS ONE! FOOL! You're going to kill it!_ Mewtwo yelled (in a sense).

"Alright, master!" Bowser boomed, slamming his chubby finger/claw on a button. Or rather, several rows of buttons, since his claw was too big.

"Hmm? Why isn't it pressing? DARN THE CLAWS!" Bowser slammed his fist onto a certain button, causing the lights to go out.

"Woops."

Mewtwo sighed mentally. _You don't press a button like that, Bowser._

"SCREW YOU, MEWTWO!" the gigantic turtle began to frantically press random things, and once he finally found the right one and the lights flickered back on, the room was already in a mess.

Donkey Kong was lying on the floor, his tie shoved up his nostril; Meta Knight was cowering in a corner, his cape over his body/head; Samus' armour was fizzling; Mario was busy trying to put out the fires with FLUDD.

Bowser was standing in the middle of it all, his eyebrows standing on end, giving him a surprised look. In his gigantic hand things, he was holding a mangled lever.

_Bowser, you will clean this up, with help or without, because if you don't, Peach will fry us all. Alive._ Mewtwo floated out of the room, and into the make-up and hairdo room.

- - - -

In the make-up room, Charizard was busy trying to put make-up onto some poor victims.

"OI! Charizard, you poked my eye with that!"

"HEY! DRAGON, YOU JUST BURNED MY PRECIOUS HAIR!"

"What happened to my tiara?!"

Charizard handed Marth his charred and burnt tiara back, while attempting to put lipstick on Zelda at the same time.

"MY TIARA!"

The pokemon accidentally smudged the lipstick, causing a large red streak to appear on the princess' face.

"NOES! NOW I HAVE TO WASH MY FACE FOR THE 68TH TIME TODAY!"

Just then, Mewtwo floated in, noticing the huge mess. _Charizard, Peach is going to kill you,_ he telekinetically sighed.

Charizard roared.

_Yes yes, Charizard, I know you shouldn't have been assigned to this job. However, it's Peach's wish. NOW FIX IT!_ Mewtwo floated back out.

There was a silence.

And that silence was broken by Marth chucking his burnt tiara out the window.

"Konkai wa boku no kachi da ne?" he sang happily, running in tiny little circles.

"No, you didn't. Now shut up with your Japanese-ing," Snake grumbled, pushing the Japanese prince out of the room.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!" Marth screeched, pounding on the door which was clearly open.

Everyone ignored him and went back to work.

Peach rushed in for some reason, waving pans around. There was a huge intake of breath, the tension thick enough to be cut by Oily Olimar.

"Alright guys!" Peach sang, "Since you all did such a _wonderful_ job –coughcough- we're all going to …"

Everyone stared at her wide-eyed.

"… Have a tea party!" she beamed around at everyone.

All the people gasped, "How sweet!"

Peach whipped out some pink tea in pink cups, handing one cup to everyone. "Drink up everyone!"

Everyone gasped, "How pink!"

Kirby swallowed all the tea, cup and drink, in one gulp. Everyone stared at him intensely.

Everyone gasped, "How tense!"

Kirby burped.

Everyone gasped, "How impolite!"

Kirby died.

Everyone gasped, "How poisonous!"

Peach screamed, "How'd that happen?! I only put in 648 tons of poison in it!"

Everyone gasped, "How evil!"

Charizard barfed all over the tea.

Everyone gasped, "How disgusting!"

Just then, Captain Falcon came in, singing a very touching song in his touchingly off tune voice, his spit flying all over the microphone.

Peach twitched. "Uhhh … Falcon, where'd you get that microphone?"

The racer paused long enough in his singing to say, "The technical room."

Mewtwo came floating in, looking extremely worried. _I tried, Mistress Peach, but the idiot wouldn't stop._

"No worries," Peach smiled, petting Mewtwo on the head, receiving a glare from the pokemon, "I just need to check the technical room." With that, she skipped out of the room.

_Oh no._ Mewtwo stared wide-eyed at the door.

"THE TECHNICAL ROOM!" Peach screeched from outside, "BOWSER, YOU IDIOT! YOU'LL CLEAN IT ALL UP, OR YOUR BLANKIE WILL SAY BYE BYE!"

"NOOOOOO! ANYTHING BUT THE BLANKIE!"

"THEN GET WORKING, FOOL!"

Everyone stared, "Bowser has a blankie?"

"That's just … disturbing."

"I agree."

- - - -

Back in the technical room, Bowser was whimpering as he cleaned everything up.

"Not the blankie please not the blankie oh please God don't take the blankie …" he mumbled the entire time.

"OW! SPLINTER!" Bowser screamed.

"Poor guy," Link whispered, peering in at the door, watching as Peach hovered over the overgrown turtle, her pans in her hand.

"I agree," Mr. LOLZIFIGHTFORMYFRIENDS said yet again.

"WHAT'RE YOU ALL STANDING AROUND FOR?!" Peach screeched, finally noticing the people standing outside the room. "GET BACK TO THE PLAY!"

"YES MA'AM!" everyone screamed, rushing to their stations.

And so, the retarded play continues … in the next chapter!

"LOL I PWNZ YA DIDN'T THINK I'D BE THAT NICE, DIDJ'YA?" iChoco laughed evilly as many smashers trampled her.

**By the way, Konkai wa boku no kachi da ne means 'Totally owned you, didn't I?' I found it on a site. xD It's Marth's winning taunt thing. /**

**Stop and STAAAAAAAAARE … -continues singing as windows shatter-**

**REVIEW! D**


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